I broke out dancing at the pharmacy. I know. I didn’t ease you into it. No introduction. Just hit you in the face with it. I go to a small business non chain pharmacy, owned by a female pharmacist. A lovely drug dealer who walked off the cover of Vogue. She has all female pharmacy techs. A Charlie’s Angel’s Drug Dispensary. What’s not to like? So, I had phone in a refill on Friday and another on Monday and stopped by there to pick them up but only one was ready. I was waiting and Maroon 5’s “Move’s Like Jagger” was blaring over the speaker, which you may remember is one of Dale’s favorites on her Zumba playlist, and without even thinking, and with an expected feeling of joy out of nowhere I bust a move, right there in the pharmacy. The hot, black, pharmacy tech, busts out laughing, and says, “you’re making me uncomfortable”. I said, “Wow, you’re laughing at me”. She says, “I’m not laughing at you,” clearly laughing at me, “but you making me uncomfortable”. “What about my dancing is making you uncomfortable”, I ask. “No one dances in a pharmacy”, she says. “I am”. After I left, it struck me how at the time, I thought dancing in the pharmacy was ok… which was disturbing. And then I though about the fact that dancing in the pharmacy WAS disturbing. Zumba may in fact be a mental illness.
Disturbing development no 2. I’ve been embarrassed to mention for the last 4 weeks but I am physically incapable of hopping from one foot to another. You know, like a boxer would jump rope but faster. The first time they did this in Zumba, my brain sent the message “hop” to my right foot- nothing. Then the message “hop” to my left foot – nothing. Literally. Like paralysis. Except this wasn’t nerve damage. This was old age and fat ass damage. I stood there looking at all these women, easily hopping from right foot to left, in time with this music, playin at 156 RPM, even hopping twice on alternating feet. like some Peter Rabbit, hippity hop thing and I’m staring at my feet. Like Dorothy trying to get back to Kansas. After a couple of weeks of wrapping my head around this depressing realization, I decided to embark on my own personal hippity hop rehab. I started with shifting weight from one foot to another to an actual, but very sad, jump from one foot to another which is more ameliorated unfortunately by the gripping pain in my chest such cardio causes me than some previous inability to get my body to respond to signals from my brain
Disturbing development no 3. I was told today that there is such a thing as Aqua Zumba.
“We all live in a yellow submarine”.