WT๐Ÿ†โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿšฟโ›‘ Has Happened to our Language?

Iโ€™m torn. Iโ€™ve always believed English is a living language and have met the yearly word additions to the major dictionaries with amused excitement rather than curmudgeonly complaints about change or tradition. At the same time, the rise of emojiโ€™s and internet slang make me wish for a Rosetta Stone app to translate some texts and posts on a daily basis. IMHO. (Irons Make Happy Onions, International Machinists Hate Oleomargarine, In My Humble opinion).

Thereโ€™s a reason the translation of Egyptian Hieroglyphics was lost for thousands of years. Just take a glance at this chart.

โ€œAโ€ is for Vulture. Huh? Ok, what is it about a death carcass eating bird that screams first letter of the alphabet to you? If youโ€™re thinking that pictures do convey a clear thought youโ€™ve never played charades with married drunks. Stuck on an electric fence. This is what my title will look like in a thousand years. Or fifty. Or today

I get it. I really do. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ž. Happy face, sad face. I imagine any society from millions of years ago to millions from now will understand this representation of these simple emotions. But some of these…?๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ? I am now using my emoji and internet slang translator apps ad much as google translate when I read Spanish. AND… The emoji faces are easier to get

Take my title. What The eggplant, airplane, shower, red hatter? (I actually have no idea what that last one is supposed to be- thatโ€™s why I picked it). Hereโ€™s proof of my argument. There is no way to tell whether those emojis are arbitrarily picked or actually convey some meaning I had in my own mind. Some readers will think the former, some the latter. (Some will think Iโ€™m smoking too much weed, some will think my anger issues require therapy)

And why do emojis often come out so tiny tiny small. I find myself looking at a string of them thinking, โ€œWhat the hell IS that?โ€ Or what the HELL is that? Or โ€œWhat the hell is THAT?โ€ ๐Ÿšจ? ๐Ÿ‰‘? ๐Ÿ”ถ?

In a text the other day, my daughter said โ€œ… a guiding light for me ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป. Hereโ€™s what I got from those enojis- I love you and blow you kisses with dark red lipstick but Iโ€™m praying for you because you look like your 100, need to learn sign language and clearly need cardiac care because your hearts purple. Thumbs up- good job!!

Iโ€™m trying to be ๐Ÿ˜Ž about this but really, itโ€™s alla bunchof ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ’ฉto me

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