This is a Test Of The Emergency Memory Systemic

My memory has been best described as absent minded professor. I was a good student and have professional degree but when it comes to names, dates, places or where something is in the house- not so much. Not even a tiny 1200 square foot condo house.

My girlfriend, on the other hand has perfect visual, auditory, fashion and minute to minute memory. “You remember when we were in San Diego in 2006?”, she’ll ask. “No”, I say. It was June 14 and we were there for a convention. It was 96 degrees, and I was wearing my Bebe jeans with sequins and peacock feathers, blue silk shirt, blue high heels and my beer bottle top belt. George Michaels song Blank was playing on the radio and you were wearing ……

We have a condo in one city and she rents a house in another city where she works often. I often have to text her to find things- in my own house. “Hey, baby”, I texted, “when you folded the clothes out of the dryer last week, did you see my yoga mat?” “Baby, baby- it’s hanging from the mirror in the kitchen, right in front of the dryer. How long have you been looking”. “A week, I said embarrassed but I’m short and didn’t look up.”

We were at a restaurant not long ago and got served something (she remembers what” in these little mini ceramic ditch ovens. “I love these little things, I’ll have to get some!”, I exclaimed. “I have some I’ll give to you”, she said. Next time I was in DC, she handed me a wrapped, taped box and said here are the little crocs. “What?”, I said, already having forgotten the conversation. She explained, I remembered and was grateful

I brought them home and not having an obvious place to put them where I wouldn’t forget where they were,I left them in the lazy Susan on the dining room table where I could Ponder this organizational male dementia issue. They sat there for a month, till her next visit when she put them away.

Fast forward to today, vacay in New Orleans. “Hey, you remember those croc things? (Of course you do). Where are they?” “You don’t remember the text I sent telling you where I put them?”, she asked. Thinking this must be a rhetorical question, I waited patiently till she said, “in the cabinet above the microwave.” ” “Thanks so much!!l”.

Thirty minutes later she asked, “Now, where are the little crocs?” I looked at her and said, “This is a test of the EMERGENCY MEMORY SYSTEM. (Then doing my best impression of this sound- please play video for full effect. EBS If this were a true emergency, your holder of substitute memories would be available to provide any missing details your Emory has failed to regurgitate. In the cabinet, above the microwave. And I love you.”

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