Tiny House Nation

A female friend just posted, “I keep watching tiny house nation and can’t help but think I really don’t need as much space as I’ve had in the past.” Really?!?! I comment: “I keep watching it thinking, “I need to be able to get farther away from the bathroom after I’ve used it without having to go outside”.

If you haven’t seen this TV show, the description from the website says “Drawn to the prospect of financial freedom, a simpler lifestyle, and limiting one’s environmental footprint, more buyers are opting to downsize — in some cases, to spaces no larger than 300 square feet — and this series celebrates the “tiny house” movement. Hosts and renovation professionals John Weisbarth and Zack Giffin travel across America to show ingenious small dwellings and their creative inhabitants. They also help families design and construct their own dream minihomes.

Lest you think 150 sq. ft. is roomy, the average burial crypt is almost 40 square feet. So, these folks are taking the average trailer which a pickup truck can tow and on that trailer, erecting a structure which holds a kitchen, bathroom, living room, dining room and bedroom in a space big enough to hold about 5 caskets. I mean, the average person has a storage unit that big to hold all the crap they shoulda tossed in a dumpster in 2003.

I watched this show for awhile. In fact, I was fascinated. I live in a 1200 sq ft townhouse condo which I previously though was kinda small, so I was fascinated to see the things they do to save space except I was a little horrified to find out how much they rely on empty body cavities for storage. That’s just not right.

Anyway, there were two things that made me realize I could never live in a tiny house. First, in all the episodes I watched, the average couple who were downsizing from an average house had to reduce all their possessions including cookware and tools to one suitcase. One suitcase. I mean, I’m a guy but if I’m going somewhere for a week, I’m taking a two suiter and a carry on. But permanently?

The second reason was their use of “composting toilets”? What? The first time I heard it I though- “uh, have you heard of sewage systems?” Apparently, if your home is a burial crypt on the back of a trailer, you don’t have sewage hookups. (Don’t they have them for RV”s???!). Then I discovered many of these folks were CHOOSING compostable toilets so they could live “off the grid” or “reduce their carbon footprint. If you’re one of those people who fought composting meant egg shells and coffee grinds and food scraps and THAT was a little gross, well lemme tell ya. If you think I’m making this crap up (pun intended)- here you go- Tiny House Toilets

But here’s the real reason – we all have those “days” where we are convinced that whatever has just left our body is proof of alien life (and not in a good way) or that we may be solely responsible in some way that eating romaine lettuce or at a chipotle restaurant has become so dangerous. You know I mean EVERYONE- this is why every public bathroom has a heavy wood or metal door and a bottle of some kind of air freshener somewhere in the bathroom. Now imagine you’re having that kind of day, or worse yet, you and your significant other are, and the farthest away you can get is 3 burial crypts.

And, we haven’t even considered that tequila party you threw where you served burritos and refried beans, salsa and hot sauce Or, that friend of yours that eats at Taco Bell three days a week.

They might make a tiny House look good but…..

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