Artificial Intelligence

I have one question. Considering there is so little “intelligence” evident anywhere in anybody on a day to day basis, exactly who is it that created the “artificial” version? And how good could “Artificial” intelligence be? I remember loving Tang as a kid. Tang was a powdered artificial orange juice drink. Except it tasted nothing like orange juice. More like orange lollipops that had been beaten into submission and powdered. We drank it because the astronauts took it into space. Supposedly. Artificial Intelligence is the meatless burger of the century. The only folks who think artificial intelligence is intelligent are the folks who don’t like or know the real thing.

I keep hearing how “Artificial intelligence” is going to help us. Take jobs away. Completely change the economy. I googled “How is Artificial Intelligence Changing the World” and got 86,400,000 results. That’s 86 million. Well, it sure is keeping writers busy.

I’ve heard some fast food joints are going to replace their minimum wage workers with “artificial intelligence”. (they do know this is just a computer right?). If you’ve used Siri or voice commands on your phone, You can see how this is going to go.

AI: May I help you miss?

Me: I’m a guy but yes, I’d like a burger and fries please.

AI: Would you like a single, double, triple, with or without cheese, pickles, tomato, lettuce, onion, regular or sesame seed bun?

Me: Single with cheese, lettuce, tomato regular bun.

AI; Can you order those either one at a time, or by number please?

Me: Ok a number 4, no drink.

AI: I can’t split the numbers sir.

Me: Deep inhale, deep exhale. Ok a number 4.

AI: I’m sorry but we’re out of burgers.

Me: No you’re not, the machine behind you has 9 on the grill right now.

AI: I’m sorry but we’re out of burgers

Me: How do you know you’re out of burgers?

AI: I’m sorry but I’m not programmed to answer that question. Would you like a hot dog?

Me: You don’t serve hot dogs here.

AI: Yes we do, they’re in my inventory.

Me: This chain doesn’t sell hot dogs.

AI: They’re in my program. Well, they’re on the internet. Don’t we sell everything on the internet?

Me: No, you don’t. That’s Amazon.

AI: I’ve been lied to.

Me: Welcome to the 21st Century.

Imagine the conversations you’re going to have with driverless UBER and LYFT cars. “This isn’t my destination”. “yes it is”. “no it isn’t” “yes it is” “no it isnt”. “Get out of the car please” “I am not getting out here”. “fine, I’m going to my next pick up”. It’s like being driven by the auto correct program in your texting app. “Duck you, Driverless car!!”

I keep hearing how AI is going to replace professionals, like lawyers and I’ll be out of work. Well, I guess maybe even programmers can teach a computer to return a phone call or answer an e mail in one day.

2 thoughts on “Artificial Intelligence

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