Things To Do while Socially Isolating –

According to CNN this is your best, lifetime opportunity to get a Ph.D in “Nerd”. Unless of course, you are already a nerd in which case, carry on. However, for us non nerds, I have some alternative suggestions.

I ran across this article today, on CNN. https://apple.news/Aw6yrWvDJTDq6FxEAwsyOzA. “Social distancing doesn’t have to doom your weekends. We have ideas”. Updated 10:26 AM EDT March 14, 2020. These included “read everything, virtual museum tours, learn a language, pursue amateur film criticism…”; I stopped scrolling here from eye bleed.

I’m not really sure who this advice is for, since most of us work 24/7 and are so amazingly happy to be actually home with free time we don’t know what to do first. Yeah we do- laundry, cleaning, chores cause I’d you’re actually going to be both living and working from home, you should cut the disgusting factor. Then I assume you do whatever you love doing with your free time when you do have it. I figure this list is you’ve don’t all those things, are bored, and need to fill time you can’t normally fill with 50 or your closest friends at the bar. Change that to 10, bars closed.

There’s got to be better options! Think back to the last time that being stuck at home required creativity as well as frugality? Yes, college. These suggestions all (most) require copious amount of alcohol so first things first, stock up. Next step- drink up. TV, or music in the background will help. Or, drink with friends on zoom Or drink whilst playing video games. Don’t forget to order some food. Ok. Ready?

Inventory, catalog, review, and organize your porn collection. You may sober up while doing this so don’t forget to re-hydrate. You may not actually HAVE a porn collection so substitute whatever fills a similar role in your life. Field and stream, or People magazine, NASCAR, ESPN, the bachelorette or bridge.

Again, start inebriated. Find the thing in your house you have the most of. (Hopefully, liquor/wine bottles). Could be food boxes in pantry. Count them. Twice to make sure.

Drunk dial some exes, or rarely spoken to family members or former friends. Nothing passes the time like awkward social situations lubricated by alcohol.

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