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Humor Weight Loss

“Fatty” Liver Disease (REALLY?)

Had my first appointment today with my new primary care doc. I saw my prior primary care doc for 35 years. The new doc is beyond terrific. Unbeknownst to me, a calcium screening cat scan I had a year ago for potential heart disease revealed some Fatty Liver disease. “Fatty liver disease means you have extra […]

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Humor

Please Listen Carefully As Our Menu Items Have Changed

“Hello, welcome to your… (bank, cable company, cell phone provider, credit card company, doctors office, hospital, hair salon, gym, nursery, car repair or any other company you deal with who has the money to avoid paying actual human beings to help us provide a service)” Your call is very important to us, as we definitely […]

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Humor

My Registered Dietitian is Poisoning the Minds of Friends and Family.

My oldest brother and sister in law are the best gift givers. Where I live, the south is a wasteland bereft of Italian pastries. Occasionally, you might stumble across a really good cannoli but otherwise, fuggedaboutit. One year, early in December, a box arrives in which sits a cooler. Inside the cooler is a cornucopia […]

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Humor

Happy “Registered Dietitian’s Worst Nightmare Holiday” Thanksgiving (Episode 8)

As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole […]

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Humor

Cooking for Charity – A Lesson in Humility

I looked down at my feet. Then at her feet next to me. This picture told the whole story. Maria, A yoga instructor of mine turned friend, started a charity here which teaches teen volunteers commercial cooking skills to fix plant based meals then delivered by volunteer delivery angels to clients with debilitating illness like […]

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Humor

Please Don’t Eat Your Realtor

I woke up to this on Facebook today. I had recently gotten an invite to this group and although I consider myself a meat eating vegetarian, joined because I thought it might help me with my plant based eating conversion. And then I saw this. It took a long time to stop laughing. It does […]

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Humor

Translating Dietitian-ese

Registered dietitians have their own language. Easier than Russian, harder than Spanish. Here’s some handy phrases you’ll find helpful: “Sugar (oil, butter, etc) is calorically dense and nutritionally light”: Translation: “OMG, OMG, OMG DON’T EAT THAT Spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out!!! “You know, studies show bacon and processed meats increase the […]

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Humor

Conversations with my FPO (FPO Food Parole Officer) Part 6

((6th in this series, to read all or parts of 1-5, enter ”(FPO Food Parole Officer) ” in the search function at the top of this blog page)) Her: How’s things?Me: Fine. I backslid and gained 4 lbs between my birthday and Labor Day. Her: Why do you think that is? Me: Hi, name is […]

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Humor

Reply To An Email Scammer

Here’s the e mail I just received. I’m sure some of you have received one just like it. McAfee Hi, Sir/madam, We Hope Your Business Is Going Well. Thank You for Using Mcafee. So, We Would Like to Tell You with A keen Sense. That Your Subscription Will be Expire Soon Your next subscription is […]

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Humor

Party Levels

“Who are you and how have you remained passed out and unnoticed in my spare bedroom for 36 hours?” Party Level FIVE! Despite living in a small condo, I have a decent size deck off the back and it’s a great party spot to host a party of 8-12 and my friends honor me by […]