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Humor Zumba

Zumba class 6

After five years concentrated effort of yoga and tango, a year of juicing, cutting back on wheat and dairy, avoiding sugar, and giving up sodas and artificial sweeteners to lose weight, all completely unsuccessfully; (zilch, zero, nada, nothing, failure, no progress- just so we’re clear) I decided that after 5 years of  that I was […]

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Humor Zumba

Zumba Class Three

Get to class a few minutes early so I can snag my spot in the back of the room. Two attractive middle age brunettes come in weighing maybe, 75 pounds between the two of them total. Each one is the size of one of my thighs. One is experienced at Zumba, she get on the […]

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Humor Zumba

Zumba Class Two

Just home from Zumba class no 2. I was driving over thinking the second class had to be easier when I remembered my second colonoscopy this summer. At least I know what a fire hose with a Nikon professional paparazzi style camera and flash up my ass feels like so I won’t be surprised. But, […]

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Humor Zumba

The Torture Begins

Just got back from my first ever Zumba class. Thankfully no scarlet letters or getting tied to a stake was involved. Yes, if you’ve never been, the rest of the class looks like those happy, healthy people you’ve seen on the infomercials dancing to a joyous, driving beat. I, on the other hand, looked like […]