Categories
Humor

Happy “Registered Dietitian’s Worst Nightmare Holiday” Thanksgiving (Episode 8)

Chocolate Chunk Blondie, Ina Garten Recipe

As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole Officer- “FPO”) The Greatest Nighmare

I can almost see her internal dialogue as all around her are: 20 lb roasted turkeys brined, buttered, oiled and rubbed (wince), stuffing with bread, or corn meal, butter (arghhh), sweet potato casseroles with marshmallows, maple syrup, sugar and sugar (primal scream!!!)

As for me, I’m having a multiple personality disorder holiday. Foodie me bought a beautiful turkey breast which FPO me limited to organic 3.5 lbs of what I imagine to have been someone’s beloved pet. FPO me is making roasted vegetables but foodie me insisted they be roasted with olive oil, balsamic vinegar and finished with white truffle oil. Mmmmmmmm. White truffle oil. (I sometimes worry this is some kind of food voodoo, where my FPO s has these mysterious pains not knowing their cause is I’m sautéing in butter)

A friend just posted pics of their early Thanksgiving Dinner. Here’s the “sweet potato cake with chocolate ganache”

Are there no food porn laws anywhere anymore? I only have 4 days of these photos to go.

I’m also attempting a red lentil, sautéed mushroom, peas and carrots shepherds pie. My Dad, RIP, would take the bits and chunks of the turkey, which were perfectly good meat and after thanksgiving, would mix a cup of those with frozen vegetables and a can of cream of mushroom soup (or cream of chicken) in a large round casserole dish and cover with 2 inches of mash potatoes and bake for an hour at 350. The FPO me is using the lentils and mushrooms and skipping the canned soup but the foodie me is going to make a roux with grass fed butter, then add chicken stock and some half and half. My FPO Is gettin a terrible leg cramp.

Which brings me back to taking my chocolate chunk bloodies out of the oven. Sigh. My poor FPO- hope you survive/have a Happy Thanksgiving. And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and may you navigate your holiday Food minefield guilt and injury free

(If you’d like to read more about how in God’s name this poor FPO is dealing lunatic me, #1 in the series of 8 starts with “E mail updates to my Registered Dietitian (FPO) in August of 2020)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: