Humor for the Horizontally ChallengedHad my first appointment today with my new primary care doc. I saw my prior primary care doc for 35 years. The new doc is beyond terrific. Unbeknownst to me, a calcium screening cat scan I had a year ago for potential heart disease revealed some Fatty Liver disease. “Fatty liver disease means you have extra […]
“Hello, welcome to your… (bank, cable company, cell phone provider, credit card company, doctors office, hospital, hair salon, gym, nursery, car repair or any other company you deal with who has the money to avoid paying actual human beings to help us provide a service)” Your call is very important to us, as we definitely […]
My oldest brother and sister in law are the best gift givers. Where I live, the south is a wasteland bereft of Italian pastries. Occasionally, you might stumble across a really good cannoli but otherwise, fuggedaboutit. One year, early in December, a box arrives in which sits a cooler. Inside the cooler is a cornucopia […]
As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole […]
I woke up to this on Facebook today. I had recently gotten an invite to this group and although I consider myself a meat eating vegetarian, joined because I thought it might help me with my plant based eating conversion. And then I saw this. It took a long time to stop laughing. It does […]
Registered dietitians have their own language. Easier than Russian, harder than Spanish. Here’s some handy phrases you’ll find helpful: “Sugar (oil, butter, etc) is calorically dense and nutritionally light”: Translation: “OMG, OMG, OMG DON’T EAT THAT Spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out!!! “You know, studies show bacon and processed meats increase the […]
Here’s the e mail I just received. I’m sure some of you have received one just like it. McAfee Hi, Sir/madam, We Hope Your Business Is Going Well. Thank You for Using Mcafee. So, We Would Like to Tell You with A keen Sense. That Your Subscription Will be Expire Soon Your next subscription is […]
“Who are you and how have you remained passed out and unnoticed in my spare bedroom for 36 hours?” Party Level FIVE! Despite living in a small condo, I have a decent size deck off the back and it’s a great party spot to host a party of 8-12 and my friends honor me by […]
With age, comes wisdom and I’ve learned to accept I’m a Plant serial killer. I started thinking this might be true when I tried taking up bonsai as a hobby a decade ago. First trip to Lowe’s. Prepare soil, drainage, plant, trim dead. second trip to Lowes. Prepare soil, drainage, plant, trim…dead. Third trip to […]
(If you’re new, Yes, this is the 5th in a series, but they all have different titles and there are two “Part Ii’s”. If you like puzzles, you’re off! If not Best clue- Part one is on August 11 2020) My Registered Dietitian, or my Food Parole Officer, or FPO, said, How about try a […]