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Humor

Happy “Registered Dietitian’s Worst Nightmare Holiday” Thanksgiving (Episode 8)

As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole […]

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Humor

Translating Dietitian-ese

Registered dietitians have their own language. Easier than Russian, harder than Spanish. Here’s some handy phrases you’ll find helpful: “Sugar (oil, butter, etc) is calorically dense and nutritionally light”: Translation: “OMG, OMG, OMG DON’T EAT THAT Spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out!!! “You know, studies show bacon and processed meats increase the […]

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Humor

Updates from Meetings with the FPO (FPO Food Parole Officer)  Part 5

(If you’re new, Yes, this is the 5th in a series, but they all have different titles and there are two “Part Ii’s”. If you like puzzles, you’re off! If not Best clue- Part one is on August 11 2020) My Registered Dietitian, or my Food Parole Officer, or FPO, said, How about try a […]

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Humor

Plant Based Diet Conversion Aided by a Registered Dietitian (FPO Food Parole Officer)  PART 3

October 10, 2020. The two month anniversary of my first appointment with my Registered Dietitian, who I now lovingly refer to a my “Food Parole Officer”. (She is, for the record, smart, good humored, supportive, non judgmental and full of good ideas). (I often wonder why it took me 63 years to hire one – […]

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Humor

Moving Towards a Plant Based Diet (FPO Food Parole Officer)  Part 2

The science is clear- eating a more plant based diet with fresh vegetables, fruits and whole grains will extend life span, improve the quality of life and substantially reduce the risk of most diseases. Unless one has been raised in a vegetarian home there are many challenges to making progress with this lifestyle change. I […]

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Humor

E Mail Updates to the Dietitian (FPO Food Parole Officer) Part 1

Upon hearing of my 50 year struggle with my weight, a provider friend referred me to a dietitian she had retained with glowing recommendations. I thought why not. As I was proofreading my first e mail update, I thought, “Oh, these are going to be good. I should save these. ALL of these. Rather than […]

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Humor

Zumba – My 5 Year Anniversary

Or “Millenials and the 8 Faces of a First Zumba Class. It’s hard to believe it’s been five years since my first Zumba class and the start of this blog, where I related my first near death Zumba experience and opined my self concept of my first attempt was playing charades to the title “Drunk […]

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Dance Fitness Humor Weight Loss

Pre-Intoxication Guidelines for Zumba Fitness

Dear Zumba Fitness International, (and fellow Zumbaranians) Having regularly attended a 9 am, Saturday morning, Zumba Fitness class, I have, unintentionally, acted as a lab rat for the hypothesis. “Just how many hours before a Zumba class do you need to stop drinking without experiencing a long list of side effects that would rival the […]

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Fitness Humor Inspiration Uncategorized Weight Loss

Katie “Barre” The Door

“I’m not here to torture you”, said the instructor at the minute class started. Knowing people usually say the opposite of what they’re thinking, I thought “oh shit, here we go”.   I’ve wanted to try Barre for a long time, but I needed to find a female friend to take me, because I can […]

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Fitness Humor Inspiration Weight Loss Yoga

“Squeeze Your Anus” Ashtanga Workshop Weekend

You’re about to learn more about your “pelvic floor” than you thought was possible or maybe even what a “pelvic floor” is and how squeezing your anus can change your life. Or at least, your pelvic floor. Irresistible title, I know.   Not long ago, In October of 2015, I wrote “Ashtanga Yoga – A […]