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Humor

Happy “Registered Dietitian’s Worst Nightmare Holiday” Thanksgiving (Episode 8)

As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole […]

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Humor

Please Don’t Eat Your Realtor

I woke up to this on Facebook today. I had recently gotten an invite to this group and although I consider myself a meat eating vegetarian, joined because I thought it might help me with my plant based eating conversion. And then I saw this. It took a long time to stop laughing. It does […]

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Humor

Translating Dietitian-ese

Registered dietitians have their own language. Easier than Russian, harder than Spanish. Here’s some handy phrases you’ll find helpful: “Sugar (oil, butter, etc) is calorically dense and nutritionally light”: Translation: “OMG, OMG, OMG DON’T EAT THAT Spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out!!! “You know, studies show bacon and processed meats increase the […]

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Humor

Party Levels

“Who are you and how have you remained passed out and unnoticed in my spare bedroom for 36 hours?” Party Level FIVE! Despite living in a small condo, I have a decent size deck off the back and it’s a great party spot to host a party of 8-12 and my friends honor me by […]

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Humor

Updates from Meetings with the FPO (FPO Food Parole Officer)  Part 5

(If you’re new, Yes, this is the 5th in a series, but they all have different titles and there are two “Part Ii’s”. If you like puzzles, you’re off! If not Best clue- Part one is on August 11 2020) My Registered Dietitian, or my Food Parole Officer, or FPO, said, How about try a […]

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Humor

30 Minutes With A WordPress “Happiness Engineer”

This trip down the rabbit hole of website editing to the realm of 30 freaky minutes with a WordPress “Happiness Engineer” was quite a ride. She asked if our session met my objectives at the end, and I said, “This was the best thirty minutes since my one week with an actress spring break freshmen […]

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Humor

Relationship Lessons From the Mango

In an effort to incorporate green smoothies in my diet, I’ve come to realize I don’t like mangos. (Mangoes is also correct plural spelling- in case you were wondering). Why has it taken me 61 years to figure that out? I figured my food tastes were all pretty set by now. While at this point […]

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Humor

Understanding Relationship Communication- through Bats. 

Scrolling Facebook one day, a headline that Egyptian Fruit Bat calls are actually communication caught my eye.  Egyptian Fruit Bats Argue- A Lot Much to my surprise, not only do these bats communicate by sound, but they have synthesized the substance of human relationship issues to four communication issues.  “They were able to classify 60 […]

Categories
Humor Zumba

The Torture Begins

Just got back from my first ever Zumba class. Thankfully no scarlet letters or getting tied to a stake was involved. Yes, if you’ve never been, the rest of the class looks like those happy, healthy people you’ve seen on the infomercials dancing to a joyous, driving beat. I, on the other hand, looked like […]