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Humor

My Registered Dietitian is Poisoning the Minds of Friends and Family.

My oldest brother and sister in law are the best gift givers. Where I live, the south is a wasteland bereft of Italian pastries. Occasionally, you might stumble across a really good cannoli but otherwise, fuggedaboutit. One year, early in December, a box arrives in which sits a cooler. Inside the cooler is a cornucopia […]

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Humor

Happy “Registered Dietitian’s Worst Nightmare Holiday” Thanksgiving (Episode 8)

As I was pulling this first time attempt out of my oven this morning, I thought again what a minefield the next thirty days or so are for me, or anyone trying to eat healthy(ier). Then I thought what the next thirty days really are, is a nightmare for my registered dietitian. (My Food Parole […]

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Humor

Translating Dietitian-ese

Registered dietitians have their own language. Easier than Russian, harder than Spanish. Here’s some handy phrases you’ll find helpful: “Sugar (oil, butter, etc) is calorically dense and nutritionally light”: Translation: “OMG, OMG, OMG DON’T EAT THAT Spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out!!! “You know, studies show bacon and processed meats increase the […]

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Humor

Conversations with my FPO (FPO Food Parole Officer) Part 6

((6th in this series, to read all or parts of 1-5, enter ”(FPO Food Parole Officer) ” in the search function at the top of this blog page)) Her: How’s things?Me: Fine. I backslid and gained 4 lbs between my birthday and Labor Day. Her: Why do you think that is? Me: Hi, name is […]

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Humor

Updates from Meetings with the FPO (FPO Food Parole Officer)  Part 5

(If you’re new, Yes, this is the 5th in a series, but they all have different titles and there are two “Part Ii’s”. If you like puzzles, you’re off! If not Best clue- Part one is on August 11 2020) My Registered Dietitian, or my Food Parole Officer, or FPO, said, How about try a […]